I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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