pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
