You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
