he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He? As in you personified your dick?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
