Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
