remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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