well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
