Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
