Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
