wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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