you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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