i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
