wanna go halves on a baby?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
