she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
