I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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