you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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