R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Randomize
