Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
