since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
