ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he fucked my hip out of place.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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