Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
my poor anus
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
