Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
