She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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