So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
