we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
