Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
