I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
