i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
