I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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