Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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