He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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