he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
