it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
