I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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