Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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