you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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