soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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