you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
