So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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