theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
