I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
