Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
