Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
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It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
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It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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