angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
