Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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