I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
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you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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