Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Randomize
