He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
