Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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