went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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