bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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