I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Acid is not a monday night drug
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Pooping to opera.
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