stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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