Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just found puke in my bra..
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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