i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
