I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
