Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I think people are normalizing furries
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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