I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The ass gains better be worth it
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