So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize