I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
