I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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