just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I puked a lego.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
