The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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