so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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