i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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