omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize