It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
