I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I didn't notice because vodka
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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