Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize