he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
